Written by: Luc Dumouchel, a Psychotherapist with Capital Choice Counselling Group
We all have childhood wounds stemming from our family of origin, or the family you grew up in. Family of origin therapy or schema therapy can help us name, claim and tame our family of origin wounds. As humans, we are social and relational beings – when we are born, we are totally dependent upon our caregivers for all our needs: food, shelter, comfort, care, soothing. It is therefore impossible for our caregivers to meet all our needs all of the time, and at times, the repairs needed for mistakes don’t take place. Furthermore, for a variety of reasons sometimes caregivers are not able to provide much of the love and safety that a child needs in order to develop a positive sense of self.
As we grow older, we become more autonomous and less dependent upon the people who take care of us. For instance, as toddlers, we are finally able to fetch on our own that multicoloured toy which just a few months earlier simply out of our reach. As adolescents, our part-time job offers us new financial independence and freedom. Yet, the reality is that these early experiences in our family still will shape many of our behavioural patterns, beliefs, attitudes, and way we experience emotions.
As adults, intimate relationships provide us unique opportunities to heal childhood wounds that made us go astray from the persons we were intended to be. Our family of origin and relational wounds interfered with the very unique process of becoming fully actualized adults, independent, autonomous and caring for others at the same time. As a type of close relationship, a Family of origin therapist can help you identify your wounds, take care of them and heal them so that you may become the free and autonomous person you were meant to be, and get back onto your very own life path of happiness and growth.
Luc Dumouchel, B.A., M.A., C.C.C. is a psychotherapist with Capital Choice Counselling Group, and you can view his profile here.