How Ottawa LGBTQ Counselling Can Help

So new to the public stage, the LGBTQ community does not have the advantage of established cultural narratives to lean on for help answering life’s tough questions. The unique problems they face have never been faced before, and so they are forced to solve these problems without the benefit of guidance from those who have faced them in generations past.  Part of what it means to be LGBTQ is persistently struggling to answer many of life’s big questions via improvisation, and dealing with the consequences that result. Capital Choice Counselling recognizes the unique nature of the LGBTQ community’s struggle, and is here to make sure they don’t have struggle alone.

The Unique Social Situation of the LGBTQ

The LGBTQ community has, for centuries, been a silent demographic. Comprising more of the population than any even a generation ago would imagine, in the last few decades we have seen this segment of our society find it’s voice.

While there is more to be done, much has changed considering societal conceptions of sexuality, and this has contributed to positive social change. But like any social change, it does not come easily or without cost. Members of the LGBTQ community today are the first generation to be able to live freely in western society, and thus are forced to deal with the consequences without any kind of historical guidance.

Consider some of the following problems unique to members of the LGBTQ community:

Same-Sex Parenting

Same-sex parenting is, in most ways, no different than conventional parenting. There are a few critical differences however.

Parenting is difficult enough, but same-sex parents and their children must unfortunately contend with problems unique to their situation.

While same-sex parenting is accepted in the main stream, attitudes towards it can differ, and are far from universally consistent.

A long legacy of normative homophobia throughout western society and beyond means that same-sex parents and their children inevitably must deal with a degree of judgement. Depending on where you live and the prevailing cultural  attitude towards homosexuality there, negative judgement can be more or less intense, but is generally unavoidable to some extent. To parents who have been dealing with this judgement their entire un-closeted life, it’s typically par for the course.

For children who have yet to develop healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with judgement they don’t understand, things are different. Children can be cruel, and though they are taught to be accepting, having same-sex parents still exposes a child to easy ridicule from their peers.

 

Capital Choice Counselling can help LGBTQ parents and their children establish healthy coping mechanisms and proper response to treatment such as this. While standard anti-bullying doctrine applies in situations such as this, often children have a way of internalizing the judgement and unhealthy values of their peers. Capital Choice Counselling can identify this internalization, and deal with it before it is allowed to take root.

Sexual Expectation

LGBTQ communities have undergone massive and fundamental changes to cultural expectations regarding sex.

Among gay males, for example, there has evolved dangerous expectations concerning body-image. It was once the case that your ‘image’ had to do with the way you wore your hair and clothed yourself. Among today’s generation of gay males, the predominant focus is now on the body. These men hold themselves to often unrealistic and unhealthy expectations concerning body image; much of the time turning to hormones, chemicals, and surgery to achieve their ideal.

When looking for partners, they hold others to these ideals as well, and are often stuck confusing their expectations of “Mr. Right” with “Mr. Right Body”. So focused on physical expectations regarding themselves and others, personality and depth takes a minor priority, and they are left without the emotional satisfaction they are seeking from their partnerships.

Unfortunately, many gay males will internalize this dissatisfaction and manifest it as an uncertainty concerning whether or not they are ‘attractive enough’ to find the partner they are looking for. This uncertainty fuels their desire to look better, and contributes to a vicious circle of dissatisfaction with ones self-worth.

The situation is especially bad for single men of the previous generation, who are stuck competing in an arena where vitality and physical perfection are valued above all else. Gay male culture is undeniably youth-oriented, where 35 is viewed as old, and 50 is viewed as ancient. For them, finding intimacy is especially difficult because the predominant culture holds them to an impossible-to-achieve standard. Often forced to hide their age and do all they can to cultivate an image of youth, problems of self-worth and loneliness arise.

This is merely one example affecting a single subculture of the broader LGBTQ community, but equivalent problems can be found throughout LGBTQ culture. Fortunately, all of them can benefit from sessions with Capital Choice Counselling.

Whether you are struggling with feelings of loneliness, low self worth, or anything else that may arise from cultural expectations regarding sex and courtship, Capital Choice can help.

Bullying

Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people are more likely to experience intolerance, discrimination, harassment, and the threat of violence due to their sexual orientation, than heterosexuals.

While mainstream society has made massive changes regarding LGBTQ acceptance, the process is frustratingly slow. Even though these new sexual identities are politically recognized, the change in individual values is far from universal.

Dealing with harassment, bullying, and discrimination is unfortunately simply part of being LGBTQ. While the treatment they receive at the hands of others is decidedly less intense than it has ever been in human history, it is still, without question, still in need of change.

Before it does, LGBTQ people are forced to simply deal with the latent homophobia still in the hearts and minds of many members of the general population. While there is little that Capital Choice can do to affect change in their thoughts and behaviors, we can help those affected by their actions.

Every member of the LGBTQ community must rely on coping mechanisms to deal with the pervasive harassment of those ignorant to their situation. Regardless of how experienced are person is dealing with the vitriol of the ignorant, there still exist emotional consequences to such treatment. Booking sessions with Capital Choice counselling offers LGBTQ individuals a safe space to process these emotional consequences, and ensure that they don’t manifest in unhealthy thoughts or actions.

Capital Choice Counselling

Are you or someone you know in Ottawa struggling with the emotional consequences of being LGBTQ in today’s society?

If so, we recommend you contact one of our professional counsellors.
No matter what the problem is, or even if you dont know exactly what the problem is, Capital Choice can help. We are Ottawa’s largest network of therapists, counselors, psychologists, and psychiatrists; and function as a door to all of Ottawa’s mental health services.

We can provide you access to therapists specialized in exactly the problems you are facing, communities of others who are struggling with the same problems as you, and a variety of secondary resources that can help you process the negative aspects of your life such that you can access the positive.

Whether you’re looking for individual therapy, family therapy, group therapy; or if you don’t know exactly what it is you’re looking for, Capital Choice can help. All it takes is getting in touch for a no-obligation consultation. We will get an impression of your situation, and present to you the options available for help in Ottawa.

Part of being LGBTQ is suffering with the social realities of LGBTQ life.

Don’t suffer alone, Capital Choice Counselling can help .