woman on phone expressing anger and rage

Anger Management: How to Keep Your Emotions & Your Life Under Control

woman on phone expressing anger and rage

We all face certain challenges that can trigger us, sometimes quite often, sometimes even daily.

How we manage these challenges and triggers can make the difference between struggle and success.

It could be minor annoyances that can eventually pile up. In other cases, the trigger can be something that can be too big to comprehend or compartmentalize.

Regardless of what these triggers are, they can take a toll on our emotions and general mood. A very common response that many people have is anger or frustration.

Anger is an entirely natural emotion – and experiencing it may sometimes even be healthy.

Everyone gets angry, although the degree of anger can vary. Several internal and external factors can lead to this anger blowing out of proportion.

Frequent, excessive, and unfounded anger can take a toll on your life and relationships. Some people will even experience this type of anger regularly. The best way to remedy this is through anger management.

How Uncontrolled Anger Affects Your Life

angry couple fighting

Uncontrolled anger has the potential to severely impact you and the people around you. The effects felt are not just emotional. This type of anger also tends to creep into the other aspects of your life. Some of the most impacted aspects are the following:

  • Relationships: Excessive negative emotions, like anger, can severely affect how we interact with other people. Relationships become strained when subjected to interactions with uncontrollable anger. It can lead to more problems down the line.
  • Outlook: Constant and uncontrolled anger may take a toll on your general outlook of life.
  • Physical health: Excessive anger can also affect a person’s physical health. It introduces a lot of stress and other factors that can affect a person’s well-being.
  • Emotional health: Uncontrolled anger can negatively affect emotional health. That is true for both the one experiencing excessive anger and the one subject to it. Emotional health is just as important as physical health, so one must prioritize managing anger.


Since uncontrolled anger affects almost all aspects of life, it is imperative be able to manage this. Anger management is one of the best ways of doing so.

Anger Management and Its Benefits

The process of anger management involves watching out for the signs of anger and trying to calm down. While difficult, successful management of one’s anger carries many benefits. Some of the benefits you can reap from proper anger management are the following:

  • Recognize triggers: Anger management allows for introspection. This process lets you identify triggers and be more proactive in recognizing them better in the future.
  • Manage triggers: Once you learn to recognize triggers, you can also learn how to identify how they affect you. It allows you to emotionally and mentally prepare if these triggers are again encountered.
  • Resolve frustrations: Anger management also lets you find peace with many of your triggers and frustrations. That is a critical step in completely managing your anger.
  • Manage emotions: Control of your anger also gives you control of your other emotions. It allows you to manage them fully at will.


Anger management isn’t easy. There are ways of making the process much more doable. The benefits of anger management, however, make the process a gratifying task.

15 Tips on How to Manage Anger and Keep Your Emotions in Check

angry man with uncontrolled anger issues

Anger management aims to allow you to regulate your emotions and control your responses.

While this process seems very simple on paper, it is much harder to do in practice. It is worth noting that even the best of us cannot control our emotions at times.

Anger management, however, is completely doable.

Some good ways of managing your anger and keeping your emotions in check are the following:

1.      Take a deep breath

Sometimes, it helps to close your eyes and take a deep breath when something frustrating occurs.

It enables you to zone out even for a little bit, manage your emotions and calm down. You can even take this a step further by practicing breathing exercises regularly.

2.      Find your calming phrase

It also helps if you can construct a calming phrase or mantra to help keep your emotions in check. Make sure that the mantra that you choose promotes positivity and well-being. Some examples of these are the following:

  • “I can get through this”
  • “I can be calm and patient”
  • “My emotions can be controlled”
  • “I should not let my anger affect others”
  • “I will not let these frustrations control me”


person meditating on mountain

Never choose a mantra that promotes negativity and anger since these will only do more harm than good. Whenever you feel frustrated, close your eyes and repeat the mantra under your breath.

3.      Thoughts before words

We sometimes let our words loose without thinking about them first. It is all too common when we are angry.

In most cases, we say words without meaning to. It can potentially be very damaging to our personal and professional relationships as a result.

When you are angry, always think your words through before saying them out loud. This way, we give ourselves room to calm down and carefully choose the words that we should say.

4.      Think happy thoughts

Positivity helps in the face of frustration.

Whenever you find your temper being tested, try to think of happy thoughts.

Go back to a particularly happy memory and linger on it. You’ll find your anger ebbing away much quicker than you expect.

5.      Meditate

woman creating art as therapeutic solution

Meditation has many physical and emotional benefits.

Practicing meditation on a regular basis may help you in controlling your emotions.

6.      Take a break

If you find yourself being angry or frustrated all the time while at work, then take regular breaks.

Taking a break can help you calm down and manage all the negative emotions that you experience. It also helps to be away from what triggers you, even for just a short amount of time.

7.      Manage your stress

Stress, be it from relationships, work, or other reasons, can significantly impact your emotions.

Some people lash out in anger or frustration when stressed. If you’re the type that tends to do this, try managing your stress.

8.      Music sometimes helps

Music can be very soothing and can help you calm down.

Listen to your favorite tracks whenever you’re feeling frustrated or angry. It can help you calm down, and at best, distract you from whatever is stressing you out.

9.      Talk to a loved one

Keeping your emotions bottled up can be very difficult. This is especially true in the case of anger.

If you feel like your emotions are becoming too much to bear, talk to someone you can trust. Getting the weight off your chest can work wonders.

10.  Imagine forgiveness

angry man yells at wife in counselling

If you direct your anger at anyone, try imagining yourself forgiving that person.

Map out the conversation in your head and prepare your responses.

Of course, make the imagined scenario as calm and stress-free as possible.

11.  Calm conversations

Calmness cannot be overstated when anger is a big issue.

When you talk to other people while angry, make sure that you keep your voice as even as possible.

Your mind should also be clear and free from things that can hinder a calm conversation.

12.  Write it down

If you are finding it difficult to express yourself verbally, perhaps writing your thoughts down can help.

Doing this can help you map out your thoughts and give yourself room to think.

If a confrontation is absolutely necessary, write a letter. Make sure that you make that letter as civil as possible.

13.  Empathy

man satisfied that he is resolving anger issues in therapy

Tuning yourself into the emotions of other people can help you manage your anger.

Try imagining how other people will react should you lash out at them. It can help you in calming down.

14.  Express your emotions

Healthily express your emotions. It helps to have an outlet for venting out your frustrations and feelings.

Try distracting yourself when you feel negative emotions coming. Look for ways that can help you express your negative in a healthy way.

Hobbies, art, crafts, music, and sports are excellent choices and can also have other benefits.

15.  See a therapist

We all have different thresholds and capacities when it comes to controlling our emotions.

If you are finding it particularly challenging to control your anger, a therapist can help.

An experienced therapist can guide you through the process of anger management. You will even learn a thing or two for dealing with future frustrations.

Manage Your Anger & Regain Control of Your Life

Anger management can be difficult for some people.

If you feel like you need help managing your anger and emotions, then seeing a therapist is an excellent step to take. Capital Choice Counseling has experienced therapists practicing anger management in Ottawa.

Contact us today to get started on a better path away from anger and toward healing.