Many of us are guilty of having unrealistic expectations about marriage.
Whether it’s Hollywood we have to thank for these expectations or our own creative minds, the perfect marriage often seems like a fairy tale, one without conflict.
In reality, a healthy and successful marriage doesn’t just fall into place for most. It requires effort from both parties to work through life’s challenges and to create a solution that works for both of them.
Before we dive into this list of helpful tips for a happy & successful marriage, let’s take a moment to understand what a successful marriage really looks like beneath the surface…
What is a Successful Marriage?
Marriage itself is a formal union, merger, or partnership between two people; economically, legally and emotionally, marriage.
Though every marriage is different, successful marriages generally share a few underlying similarities. To note a few, qualities of a successful marriage include:
In simple terms, it’s important that both marital partners have a mutual understanding or agreement for their daily life’s basic principles. By understanding your partner’s emotional needs, leading with good intention and taking extra steps to ensure conflicts are resolved peacefully, a successful marriage is something any two partners can achieve.
Whether you’re about to get married, recently married or contemplating a divorce following some troubles, we hope these tips can have a positive effect on your relationship. Here’s our list of helpful tips for a happy, healthy and successful marriage.
1. Learn to resolve conflicts together
While it may seem like the opposite, conflicts are a normal aspect of relationships.
Fundamentally, a marriage is no different. Listen to what your spouse has to say, give it some thought and work through conflicts together to find a viable, peaceful solution.
Conflicts are bound to happen, there’s no avoiding that. In fact, it’s completely normal for married couples to argue.
So if you and your spouse are having an argument or going through a rough patch, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are in an unhappy marriage. Together, you can work through it.
2. Spend more time with each other
In order to grow together, you’ve got to spend more time together.
Whether it’s a date night, weekend getaway or anything in between, planning some one-on-one time together will leave a window of opportunity to enrich your relationship.
Get yourselves out there doing new and exciting activities. Marriage shouldn’t be all about work, chores around the house and daily routines. Even if you each have a busy schedule, you will need to make time for each other to make things work.
3. Create and achieve shared goals
Marriage is all about growth. Not alone, but together. As a married couple, it is absolutely key to have shared goals, or a shared vision that you are both working towards.
This can be saving to buy your first home, working together on a home improvement project, or even a shared commitment for improving your physical health.
It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant, but if you plan to stay together, we recommend you plan to grow together.
4. Work to improve communication
You’ve probably heard this a million times, but good communication is at the foundation of every great relationship. This old saying is popular for good reason, it couldn’t be any more true.
If you want to truly know how your spouse is feeling, what they are thinking or why they might be feeling down, you’ve got to have an open channel of communication. Actively listening and allowing your spouse to voice their concerns will improve your shared ability to effectively resolve conflicts and avoid past incidents from repeating themselves.
Improving communication can be very difficult. For this step, we recommend getting in touch with an experienced marriage counsellor. They’ll help break this down into small steps to ease into a new and improved way of communicating with your spouse.
5. Establish boundaries and honour them
Boundaries are a must-have for any healthy relationship, especially a marriage.
Time and space is something that you and your spouse will be sharing together for as long as a lifetime.
While quality time together is essential as we’ve discussed earlier, everyone needs access to their own personal space every now and then.
Boundaries can also be physical or emotional limitations, set in place to maintain privacy and friendships – two things that should never be sacrificed for marriage.
Marriage Counselling: Achieving A Healthy & Successful Marriage
Building a long-lasting, fulfilling marriage is something that can be better achieved through marriage counselling.
There’s no rule book or how-to guide to marriage. But with marriage counselling, you and your spouse can build the foundation of a successful marriage, starting with the foundation of a healthy relationship and working through some challenges or conflicts to guide you on the right path.
Marriage counselling doesn’t need to be for married couples who are considering divorce, even couples that are happy and healthy with one another can benefit from the help of a reputable counsellor.
Our marriage counsellors are licensed psychotherapists, psychologists and social workers, each specializing in relationships and marriage. Ready to start your journey to a happier, healthier, and successful marriage? Contact us today to get started.