Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy
Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy or EFT is an effective approach for couples therapy in helping partners to feel less distressed and more connected. Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy looks at the emotional connection between partners in the here and now relationship.
Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy is based on a much researched and confirmed attachment theory, which states that we all have a powerful need to be connected to others, and a word for this connection is a bond. To be bonded to someone is just as important, if not more important, than our need for food and water. One such bond is the couple relationship, and when this bond is threatened, like when we don’t feel close to our partner or fear that our partner will leave us, distressing patterns emerge.
How EFT Works
Addressing these patterns is the first step of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, which aims to help each partner recognize what type of pattern they are caught in, and what underlies or drives the pattern. It is in this step that the couple discovers how to step out of the pattern that is reinforcing the threat of disconnection. Often in discussing these underlying triggers, the second stage of EFT begins to occur, which is creating new patterns of communication that reinforce the bond as opposed to threaten it.
You might be wondering why emotions are the focus of this theory, for more on this you can check out this post here. In short, emotions are the primary indicators to us how our bonds with others are doing. If we feel safe and connected to someone, the emotions that accompany this sense are often peaceful, calm, and contentedness. Conversely, if we are feeling disconnected from others, the accompanying emotions often take the form of fear, shame, and anger. By focusing, or exploring, on these emotions it helps each partner to understand why their other partner acts the way they do in the negative pattern. This why can lead to a what next, or what the partner truly is trying to get from their partner, which is often to feel more connected or closer. And, after all, feeling connected and communicating more constructively are often the goals couples come in to therapy for.
Ottawa EFT Counselling and Therapy – We Can Help
Browse our list of therapists who are trained in Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy here.
CCCG has psychologists and psychotherapists trained in Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy. EFT helps create secure couple relationships. Book a session with one of our EFT therapists closest to you. You can either use the tool to the right, and put Emotionally Focused Therapy as an expertise, or call intake at 613-425-4257. We would be happy to help you set up an appointment.
Is Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy right for me?
- I am looking for an approach that connection and communication based
- I believe that right now it is our negative patterns that are underlying our difficulties
- I would like an approach that is relatively short-term