Ottawa Couple counselling

Valentine’s Day & Couple Therapy: Relationship Checkup

Couple together on the couch on valentines dayRelationship Checkup: Should we attend an Ottawa couples therapy session?

One helpful thing that holidays can do is remind us, and give us the space to, reflect. And while Valentine’s Day may be one of your least favourite holidays due to the commercialism of love, it can still provide us with a chance to take stock of one of the most important aspects of our lives: our relationships.
I believe that Valentine’s Day is a way to celebrate and reflect on all relationships; however for the purpose of this blog I’ll be focusing on a romantic relationship checkup.

Why is this important? Because when our romantic relationships are healthy, we’re happier, are able to ward off negative impacts of stress, and it can provide meaning and purpose in our everyday lives. And yet, all relationships go through difficult periods in which conflict seems constant. Often when this occurs we seek to couple therapy too late, or not at all, leaving us to be in relational pain unnecessarily. You can use this yes/no checklist to take stock of your current relationship, and take action if need be, including whether or not to start couple therapy.

  • When my partner and I fight, are we able to repair our relationship in such a way that feels satisfying for both of us, even if the area of conflict is not resolved?
  • Do we spend time connecting about our day?
  • How safe do we feel when having more vulnerable conversations? Are we having vulnerable conversations?
  • Do we have a shared dream, or vision for our relationship? When was the last time we talked about this?
  • How satisfied are we with the levels of sexual intimacy in our relationship?
  • What are our hello and goodbye rituals? Do we hug or kiss?
  • How often do we laugh together?
  • Do I feel that my partner responds to me when I am stressed or upset, and in need of comfort?
  • Do I feel like I can depend on my partner to be there?
  • Do I feel that on the whole we have more positive interactions then negative?

    When To Seek Couple Therapy

    If you find that you have answered negatively to the majority of these questions, it may be time to seek out an Ottawa couples therapist. Even if you are unsure, as with most health related aspects of our lives, a checkup with a professional as a preventative measure is usually considered best practice. You can find our list of couples’ therapists here.


    Blog written by Erika DeSchiffart, couples’ therapist with Capital Choice Counselling Group.