There is no one-size-fits-all solution to strengthening your relationship with your loved one. Just as every individual is different, the way they deal and approach relationships vary as well. Relationships can be challenging and complicated, but the rewards you get from a healthy connection is immense. In a relationship, you get a life partner and a support system. You gain a friend and a lover— someone who will be with you through thick and thin. We nurture and develop relationships for a reason. We want to spend the rest of our lives with the people we love, and we want to be happy along the way. Of course, no relationship is perfect. There are going to be times when you feel like you can’t understand your significant other, or times when you think your loved one does not understand you at all. There are going to be moments when you feel that giving up might be a suitable option, but your future self will probably thank you for fighting for a relationship that’s worth it.
How you can nurture and strengthen your relationship
This Valentine’s Day, we want to help you find ways to make your relationship stand the test of time. We believe that one of the building blocks of good mental health is a strong and stable relationship with a life partner. To help you find the right balance with your loved one, here are some top tips to strengthen your relationship and bond together.
Make your relationship one of your top priorities
Do not be mistaken—your relationship shouldn’t come first at all times. Giving up things you want and things you need because of your relationship is a sure-fire way to ruin it before it has even started. By making your relationship one of your top priorities, we meant that you need to take your relationship into consideration when making important decisions. Before you take drastic actions or life-changing verdicts on your future, make sure that you evaluate how that could possibly affect your relationship with your loved one. If you show your partner that you value your relationship, it will flourish and grow through time. Make sure that your significant other knows that you care about your relationship through words and actions.
Do not be discouraged by disappointments in your relationship
No relationship is perfect. In the same way, you shouldn’t expect your significant other to be perfect as well. There are going to be times when they won’t do what you want them to do, or they won’t listen to what you have to say. You might be frustrated or disappointed, but that doesn’t mean that your relationship isn’t worth fighting for. When these things happen, try to look for the reason why this is the case. You might have overlooked their reasoning because you were too wrapped up in yours. There are times when we think we were wronged, but it turned out that we were just looking at one side of the story. Focus on the best parts of your relationship, and don’t let small issues ruin what you have built. Of course, you should talk it out with your partner. Examine the reason why you were disappointed, and have a bilateral discussion on what you both need to work on. You need to understand that disappointments and frustrations are part of a healthy relationship. Every challenge you walk through signifies your growth and maturity as individuals and as a couple.
Allow yourselves room to grow
Being in a relationship gives you the chance to rely on someone when you encounter issues that you can’t seem to take on your own. Having someone with you is good for you mentally, as you know that you have a person to lean on at all times. However, some people get too dependent on their partners to the point that they cannot make a decision on their own. This is one of the top things that you should avoid in a relationship. Although consulting your partner is an excellent way to build trust and foster communication, you need to learn how to function without your partner by your side. Learn how to step back and make your own choices. You may end up making a few mistakes along the way, but that’s how you grow into a better and stronger person. Be a better version of yourself, and you’ll see how well that would translate to a better relationship with your partner.
Do not be afraid of change
Sometimes, we get so terrified of change that we reject the concept altogether. Your significant other may seem like a different person today compared to when you first met him or her a few years ago. You may have second thoughts and ask yourself: is he or she still the person I fell for years ago? Do we still belong together now that we have changed so much? The thing is, change is always going to happen whether you like it or not. It may be for the better, or it may be for the worse. But you have to accept that it happens and you have to acknowledge that change is a way for both of you to grow. If you think that your partner has changed for the worse, you can try to talk it over and discuss the things that you find problematic. By doing so, you are opening the lines of communication and understanding. Just make sure that when you talk, you do not communicate through anger. Sincerity and honesty are the way to go when it comes to discussing anything with your significant other.
Be fully present
Just because you are in the same room, doesn’t mean that you’re fully present and together with your partner. Your significant other may be talking to you about their day, the problems they’re facing, and even their hopes and dreams for the future. But you can be far away thinking about your own issues and drowning in the vortex of your thoughts. This shouldn’t be the case if you want to have a good and healthy relationship. You have to show your partner that you care through words and actions. That includes listening to them rant about their day and ponder on their future. Being fully present means listening and understanding what they have to say, instead of just hearing it and not processing it at all. Be a partner who puts effort and sincerity in listening and understanding what your loved one is going through at the moment. It if were you, wouldn’t you want your partner to listen and help you process your thoughts as well?
Treat your partner the way you would want to be treated— with respect
Sometimes, we get so comfortable and used to our partners that we neglect to treat them with the same respect we show to others. This shouldn’t happen at all, especially since your partner is the person you show your true colors to. To have a good and long-lasting relationship, you should treat each other with respect and reverence. You shouldn’t make low and belittling remarks, insults, and derogatory comments that might hurt the feelings of your loved one. You shouldn’t be passive-aggressive when you feel annoyed at them, and you shouldn’t stonewall and ignore them just because you can. Being in a healthy relationship means treating each other well. Foster love, respect, and understanding rather than being crass and immature.
Fix misunderstandings healthily
As mentioned, there are going to be times when your partner will frustrate and disappoint you to your wit’s end. It might be easier to lash out and just tell them why you think they’re wrong. But it’s much better to handle such issues with delicate care and consideration. That means that when you think they are to blame at something, do not throw the fact in their face and make them feel worse about it. No one wins in the blame game. The only way to get over an issue is to share the blame and recognize what you did wrong as well. At the same time, when your partner really is at fault, then you should find it in your heart to forgive him or her when the right time comes. That doesn’t mean that you should be a doormat and just let your partner walk over you at all times. But while you mustn’t allow anyone to mistreat you, you should understand that they have made mistakes that hurt us sometimes. Therefore, you need to read the situation and look at the whole picture before you close yourself off from your partner altogether.
Approach professional counsellors when you feel like your relationship is going south
If you have tried your best to do all of the things mentioned above and you still feel like your relationship is going nowhere, why not work with someone who can take a look at your problems from a neutral and unbiased perspective. Here at Capital Choice Counselling, we can help you and your partner sort out issues that seem non-negotiable and show you the way back into a good and healthy relationship. Contact us now and inquire to see how we can help you get back on track with your special someone.