Have you recently lost a family member?
Perhaps you’re mourning the passing of a friend?
Or maybe you’re suffering the loss of a beloved pet?
If so, you’ve likely been going through a full range of emotions. It’s a dark time, to be sure, a sad place that you find yourself in.
You are not alone.
Though this may not give you much solace right now, please know that the feelings of loss you are experiencing are all a natural response to death. And while there is no “right” or “wrong” way to experience grief, there are ways you can go through the grieving process with someone to lean on.
Grief counselling is a helpful process to sort through the multitude of emotions you’ve been experiencing, a short-term means of talking out your grief and finding ways to process your emotions and be able to live your best life.
Grief Is a Natural Emotion Experienced in Different Ways
Everyone grieves in their own way.
You’ve probably heard or even said this adage many a time.
There’s really no “right” or “wrong” way to mourn the loss of a loved one.
After all, it’s not as if any of us can every truly prepare for the emotions that are suddenly triggered when a family member, friend or pet passes away.
The feelings of loss, emptiness, sadness, grief, depression, etc. are very real, very natural and are brought on in large amounts – perhaps more than any other emotion we as humans experience.
Some people grieve alone, in quiet. They may ‘bottle up’ their feelings of grief, or they may cry for long periods but not visible to others.
Often times we mourn together with friends and family. This is a very healthy, very natural way to grieve. But it’s not for everyone, especially for people with introvert personalities or people who are not comfortable expressing their emotions in front of others.
For many people, the grieving process is a combination of introspection & solitude combined with grieving in the company of others.
None of these ways of grieving are right or wrong, not one is ‘better’ or ‘worse’ than the other.
You Might Have Been Told to ‘Grieve This Way or That Way’
If this is your first time experiencing such a loss, or you haven’t suffered a loss in a while, you may find yourself struggling with how best to grieve.
You may also be hearing friends or family members telling you how to grieve.
Your friends & family mean well.
They really do.
You have to keep telling yourself this, so that you don’t get upset with these important people.
They have the best of intentions, and they want only the best for you.
But – and this is the most important thing to know – they’re NOT you.
They cannot truly know what you are feeling inside. Everyone grieves in their own way. And even when one person passes, their loved ones will mourn the loss in their own unique, different ways.
If someone tells you, for example, that you’ve been “sad for too long now,” this just isn’t a thing. You have to process your emotions and grieve on your own timeline.
Or maybe someone has suggested that you’re “keeping your feelings inside” too much. They might be coaxing you to express yourself more, to cry out loud, to grieve in front of others.
But, as we’ve said already, not everyone is comfortable crying or grieving in front of others. Some people are naturally more expressive of their emotions that others. This doesn’t make anyone “better” or “worse” that anyone else.
How Grief Counselling Can Help the Mourning Process
Whether it’s been a day, a month or a year since you first learned that your loved one has passed away, you’re well within your rights as a human being to experience grief and its myriad emotions.
And while it’s true that everyone grieves on his or her own timeline, there are ways to – not ‘speed up’ the grief process – but to facilitate grief and mourning in as healthy a way as possible.
Professional grief counselling has helped millions of people over the history of psychology get through their intense feelings of loss.
Unlike other forms of therapy, which are more open-ended ion their nature, grief counselling is more of a shorter-term process, one that’s designed to enable you to express your feelings and emotions in a safe, nurturing, productive environment.
Grief counselling is a fine way for those who are generally uncomfortable expressing their feelings in front of friends, family or colleagues. With a grief counsellor – a professional who is trained in the art of listening to people, to get them to express feelings and help people process emotions – you have the ability to speak your mind and bare your soul in complete privacy and confidentiality.
Many people write in a diary to express different emotions. Grief is an intense series of emotions and keeping a diary is a great way to notate your emotions and track how you’re feeling.
Grief counselling is, in some ways, not unlike a diary (it’s quite complementary). You get to express your emotions to your grief counsellor and know that he or she will keep everything just between you two.
Grief counsellors also provide feedback, give structure, and facilitate the grieving process.
This true both for introverts and extroverts, for people who express emotions freely and for those who naturally do not.
Grief counselling is, in short, a way to harness your natural emotions, to express your feelings of loss, and to allow the grieving process to take place as fully as possible.
Many people find that, with the help of a grief counsellor, they are able to process their emotions and mourn in a more ‘compartmentalized’ way. This enables you to live the other aspects of your life with continuity, to keep working, to be your best self as a parent, friend, colleague, etc.
Grief Counselling in Ottawa
Capital Choice Counselling Group is a network of professional counsellors, therapists & social workers in Ottawa and surrounding communities.
We offer grief counselling in Ottawa, Kanata, Nepean, Orleans and elsewhere.
With the current COVID-19 social distancing in place, we are also going tele-counselling or e-counselling, with video or phone as a viable option for grief counselling in Ottawa or elsewhere. Normally we conduct grief counselling in person, and we anticipate this option returning at some point in the not-too-distant future.
Contact us today to find out more about Ottawa grief counselling, and to book your first appointment with an experienced, capable and highly sympathetic grief counsellor.